Pubic Hair: a Male View

I’ve pondered this question before, of course: what is it that men think when it comes to women’s pubic hair? Because from what I’ve heard after talking to a lot of younger women, many remove their pubic hair because they understand it’s what the men they sleep with like. Of course, generalizing is never hugely productive, but many of my conversations have gone like this:

Female Interview Subject (aged 19): “I think… guys prefer no hair… or at least the majority of my friends who are guys.”

Me: “how do you know that?”

FIS: “You ask them. Or, like, I’d say, ‘I’m going to get my va-jay-jay waxed today, what are you doing?”

Friend of FIS: She’s so open! It’s so easy for her to get information like that!

Me: And what do they say to that?

FIS: They’re like…’oh, cool.’ It’s chill. But if I ask them, they say it’s better without hair.

FoFIS: You have a lot of (girl) friends – do they all get waxed, too?

FIS: yeah, I think they do.

Guys: please write and let me know what your preferences are when it comes to pubic hair. How did you develop these preferences?

I was interested to come upon this article online this morning, when I was vaguely trolling around in search of interesting pubic-fodder for consideration.

Posted a couple of years ago on the website Your Tango: Smart Talk About Love, the article is called Male Perspective: Women, Grow Out Your Pubic Hair. Though the author, John DeVore, doesn’t divulge his age, he does (with humour and eloquence) tell us about his preferences when it comes to women’s intimate bits.

His is a plea for women to re-embrace their natural selves in a world that he fears would sooner have us become a “hairless race of squeaky smooth dolphin people.”

I think his point here is interesting:

“it’s not just the weird underage girl thing; aesthetically, a hairless hoo-ha is kind of antiseptic. It doesn’t look … human. The vagina almost becomes like an object, and that’s just not any fun. Sex is not an à la carte buffet of different body parts, and I know dudes who are obsessed with the physical appearance of the nanny. It’s a strange fetish, since how it feels is more important to me than how it looks.”

It’s a point worth considering, since many would argue that pornography has acclimatized us, culturally, to appreciate the body in turn-on-able pieces chunks (something women have been guilting of doing — reducing our bodies to a collection of parts, mostly flawed — for ages).

Naturally, the comments in response to this article are great — from men defensively defending their right to prefer things hairless (almost as if they hadn’t got the point of DeVore’s article at all), to this right-on comment from a female reader:

I love this guy!!!! 

One thing I can’t understand is a generation of women that is supposed to be so sexually liberated and free would let themselves be pushed into getting rid of pubic hair. It’s part of your sexuality. It’s there to attract attention to your genitals. It protects you. It hurts to get rid of it. There are health risks to your genitals from waxing.

I know there are some women who want to be hairless, but I suspect most are just doing it to look nice for your boyfriends. We’re humans and we’re animals. We have hair.

 

 

 

 

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  • Rob

    Pubic hair shaving is just the latest example of men holding women down. Let’s take a brief journey through history.

    Ladies, you have allowed men to convince you that;
    1-If you are an unmarried women you should not have sex.
    2-If you are a proper married woman you should not expect to enjoy sex.
    3-If you want to be considered not shallow, you should accept any man small cock and all.
    4-if you work, you should be happy earning 70 cents on the dollar.
    5-and the latest injustice; if you expect any man to spend his precious time indulging your sexual desires, you must be shaved clean in your nether region.

    Wake up ladies and smell the whatever. Stop falling for the okie doke!

    If little Johnny from down the street wanted you to clip your eyelashes would you do it? Then why are you shaving your cooch. A well groomed patch of pubic hair can be every bit as attractice as long flowing lashes! Think about it.

  • Jack

    I started reading this blog just because of this issue–My girlfriend of 3 years left for college last month, and as she has only dated me I reluctantly agreed that she was allowed to see other people…..
    She came home to visit last week and I was SHOCKED to find her completely shaved bald!
    She had never done anything like that– when i asked her what would possess her to do that, she said its expected and that if youre sexually active you must be hairless….
    She looks like a plucked chicken, its degrading and humiliating in my mind because she doesnt want to do it, but feels she must.
    She also said she is planning a tatoo….I am just shocked and in disbelief that grown women do this to themselves….

    • Hi Jack- I’m so glad you wrote. How’d she get the memo that to be sexually active “you must be hairless”? Obviously you two had been sexually active and it hadn’t come up before.. so what changed? I’m totally saddened by your saying that “she doesn’t want to do it, but she feels she must”. Did she move to a much bigger city? What else do you think changed?

      • jack

        She has had a new sexual partner at school. The most disturbing aspect of it is that her body has been completely Sexualized by this guy and she has been complicit and perhaps even eager. She told me that all her friends (boys and girls) think pubic hair is gross and should be removed like leg or underarm hair. Not only is she shaved bare, but she is planning a tattoo and a piercing- “they’re sexy” she says…
        She has posed for nude photos (she was kind enough to share them with me!) for her partner. Who knows who else has seen them! I’m my mind, she went from being my girlfriend to a shaved, pierced, tattooed nude model! She seems to have embraced these degradations.

        • argh – that’s pretty depressing, Jack. I can totally see why you’d be upset. Sounds like she’s been totally sucked in and has lost all her critical sensibilities, (which I’m presuming she had before, right?). It’s hard to know what you’re supposed to do in this situation, except to keep telling her that you liked her the way she was before, and that she doesn’t need to do that stuff to be ‘sexy’ or ‘attractive’. The problem is that if you keep being critical of her choices, she’ll likely just see you as being not progressive and will tell her that you’re the one with the problem… when in fact, you sound like you have a really solid sense of who you are and what you like. How old are you two, by the way?

          • jack

            We are both 22. Its still shocking and offensive to me every time I see her naked. It just looks wrong….Thanks for your good advice though. You’re right I must not complain too much, this is her chance to explore her sexuality and I have agreed to let her do so.

  • Katie J.

    Wow, not to seem shallow, or naive, or anything… but I’ve never had a boyfriend and I don’t know many straight guys, so I don’t know these things. I kinda thought that most women did shave their pubes, and i was the only one who doesn’t. Now, I know that its not the case. I feel relieved as well as enlightened to know that shaving my pubes isn’t the norm or even what guys like. Cool beans. 🙂 I also really appreciated Rob’s comment, it made everything make sense and put things into a perspective that I understand.

    • Thanks for writing, Katie — yup, we’re out there. Tell your friends 🙂
      So what has informed your decision not to get rid of your pubic hair? How do you know you’re the only one who doesn’t?
      And congrats on holding your own when it comes to what you want for your body!